what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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