after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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