Apparently you make a good broom.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
