YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
