why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
