I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
