He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
