I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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