Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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