I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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