All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
