Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
