My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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