a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
