Porn is love you can see.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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