So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
