I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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