she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
