My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
