Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
