take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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