real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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