There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
