Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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