I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
