:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
