mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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