You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
