Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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