Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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