i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
