yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize