What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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