fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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