The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
