I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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