I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
