We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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