You don't have asthma, your pregnant
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
