there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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