I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
