You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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