i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize