who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
