I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
