gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
not ubering you a puppy
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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