I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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