WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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