Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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