did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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