I hate all girls vehemently.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
