I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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