God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
