just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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