I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
