Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
