I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
